I love reading the prophets.  These poor people it just seemed as if no one would listen to them.  Well, I found out my gifts are prophesy and discernment.  I told God a few weeks ago that I thought He is weird.  Why would he give me these gifts.  Why not serving, hospitality, or giving.  Those gifts would be a lot funner then mine!  Well I do love TRUTH.  That is what the gift of prophecy is all about, telling the truth.  And it's also nice to know that I can tell with God's help when someone is going to turn away from the truth no matter how much I tell it.  I was reading in Jeremiah chapter 7 today.  God told Jeremiah to stop praying for these people and to stop weeping for them.  God knows if you are going to listen to Him.  God considered these people a lost cause.  You see God does not make us listen to Him.  God will never stop pursuing you, but you get to decide if you want to hear the truth.  Before I knew Jesus I was a mess.  God gave me lots of opportunities to listen to Him, but I did not want to change.  I was too busy trying to make myself happy with partying.  It wasn't until I started to work at camp that God opened my eyes.  Nothing like working at a beautiful place with no electricity out in the middle of no where to open your eyes.  The fact of the matter is I needed to be at camp just as much as the kids.  I needed a job were I had to stop thinking about myself and take care of others.  But I wanted to change.  I hated who I had become and that is were God met me, or what I should say that is were I started to pay attention.  I'm glad that I'm God's kid.  I trust God, He has not done me wrong yet and he never will. That is the truth!

I was listen to our local Christian station yesterday and the topic was about taking our masks off and being vulnerable.  I guess this is what I'm doing with this blog.  Satan has been having a field day with me and with my past.  As this unfolds I would like to admit I have broken all the Ten Commandments.  Yes me.  But I'm ok with it I feel at peace with God.  He loves me and I have asked for forgiveness and He has given it to me.  Ah, the power of the blood of the Lamb!  Once I knew Jesus had forgiven me, I forgave myself.  Peace.  But what has been steeling my joy?  These deep hidden secretes of a life of hell.  A troubled and shameful past has been robbing me of joy.  My husband knows of my past, but he doesn't always understand.  Today I want you to know that you are not alone.  I know many of us have a "past", but do not get stuck there.  God is waiting for you and He loves you all the time.

I thought I would start telling my story by explaining some recent events that have happened in my life.  As many of you know I quit my job to stay at home with our last child Gabriel.  My husband really urged me to do this and told me that God will take care of us.  I have never in my 28 years of work have EVER not had a job.  I started working when I was 12 babysitting and then working as a dish washer at a local restaurant in my hometown of Colebrook and always worked ever since.  I was excited but a little worried about how we were going to support 5 children on my husband's job alone.  God was very faithful and Mike continued to get plumbing jobs that paid all our bills (barely).  As the end of August rolled around we were getting behind in our bills.  We prayed about it. Mike way more than I did, he is the prayer warrior in our family.  I can not remember if I called or if my old supervisor called me, but she needed someone desperately.  The only problem was that I needed a good sitter for Gabe and Gwen, and the old ones I had were no longer available.  God answered another prayer with Jodelle.  My friend, neighbor, and Gwen's preschool teacher recommended her.  I also have another great friend Nisha, who also watches them who is also a God send.  Another answer to prayer.  As I started working we were finally able to catch up on some bills.  You may say what is the big deal?  This happens every day to many people.  Around November we got $1000 from an anonymous donor from our church.  We never asked or told people we were struggling.  God had answered another prayer.  We need to buy a new window for our dinning room because it had a big hole in it, our dish washer had not been working for about 3 months, and our washing machine was breaking down.  Needless to say, that money came in very handy.
Soon after, Mike's mom pasted away on Thanksgiving.  Her passing at the time she did was nothing short of a miracle.  Everyone that wanted and could come were able to because of the holiday.  God worked out all the the details with Uncle Bill and Autie Di and all Bruce's other siblings.  Marcy's brother from Florida was able to come, but most of all we ALL got to spend time with each other has she passed into eternal heaven.  So many people were generous to us.  With cards, gifts, and kind words.
Just last week we got another card in the mail with $100 in it, no name!  Our family gave us lots of money for Christmas.  We were able to actually get the kids gifts they wanted this year!  Over all we got about $1500 in about a month.  This is nothing short of a miracle.  Mike and I were so over- whelmed by the generosity of our families and church.  But it's not about the money it's about God!  Remember we NEVER told anyone we were struggling, it was God answering our prayers!
It is truly a humbling experience to EXCEPT God's gifts to us.  Part of me just wanted to give it back or not except the money.  Yes I can be a very prideful person and think I can do all things on my own.  But I can not, I need God in my life. And we all need to except that God came to earth to make us right with Him, forgive us, and to make us holy.  That is why I'm so thankful to be thriving instead of just surviving. WE ARE MADE TO THRIVE!!